5 things no one told me about having a second baby...
My husband and I were blessed to welcome our second child (a girl!) into the world in January! Our son was 2 ½ at the time, so we had some curiosities about how life with two kids would go! Some of my assumptions were wrong and I ended up being surprised by a few things about life with two kids.
Here is a list of 5 things no one told me about having a second baby:
ONE: It is possible to recover faster with the second than the first.
I had assumed that my recovery and the time it would take to feel semi-human again would take longer with my second child. Exhaustion from taking care of my son, not sleeping for weeks prior to my delivery from feeling uncomfortable (that's an understatement!), and numerous night time feedings with new baby had me assuming it would take weeks to get back in the swing of things. But, for us, having my son on a schedule from the day we brought baby girl home totally helped! It forced us to wake up early each morning and get the day started. Having this regular schedule helped me feel back to normal much quicker than with my son. I showered every (well)....most (umm..)……(lets be honest)...some mornings, which is still a huge accomplishment in my book! :)
After my son was born, I remember laying in bed trying to nap with him next to me in the bassinet, getting out of bed in a daze somewhere around 9, and just putzing through the day in zombie mode. Having this schedule with baby #2 helped me feel human again way faster this time.
TWO: It will be easier to ask for help after having baby #2.
It's hard asking for help, we don't want to inconvenience or bother anyone. Yet, having two kids, myself, and a household to care for, forced me to be bolder and ask for things that would help us! I think people truly want to help and it only benefits you to give them direction on what will actually help you! Asking someone to come hold the baby while you shower, make or clean up a meal for you, play with baby #1 are all things someone else can easily, and likely gladly, do for you! It really was a game changer for us!
THREE: Your first child will amaze you in ways you never dreamed.
My son is a bit...energetic :) I was nervous he would be extra excited around his baby sister. To my amazement, he is SO gentle around her. It melts my heart each time he comes up to her and says so quietly, “kiss kiss kiss” and kisses her on the forehead or cheek. It has been so fun watching him in this new role as a big brother!
FOUR: It is much easier to leave the kids after baby #2.
I don't think anyone could have pried my son from my arms before he was a year old for me to go and have “me time” or even run errands. I wanted to be around him every single second, no matter what I was doing, how exhausted I was or how much extra time it tacked onto an errand. This time around, having an established babysitter we trust (that is an understatement, she is a gift directly from God!), makes leaving them so much easier! Dropping them both off at the sitters a day here and there have made a huge difference in how I feel--I’m able to get stuff done around the house or go have coffee with a friend. It also makes picking them up at the end of the day the BEST!
FIVE: Being out and about with only one of the kids is a total breeze!!
I am still mastering being out with both kids alone, so I wont speak to that yet ;) but when you get the chance to take just one child out at a time, it's a breeze!! It's so great when I have my son w/ me, because he can have a conversation with me and walk! Its equally as great being out with my daughter because she can’t talk or walk-haha (aka, quiet time for me and no flight risk!).
And one thing that everyone told me about having a second baby, which I found to be true:
You can and will love both children GREATLY!! Your heart feels like it doubles in size and bubbles over every day as your kids grow. Already I see this amazing bond between my children and can’t wait to watch them grow up together. :)
Lastly, If you are dreaming of a baby, trying to conceive or a mom to an angel baby, you are in my thoughts and prayers daily. The deep ache of wanting to hold your baby is real and true and raw. You are not alone.